Ahead, not necessarily better.

While I may be a step ahead of Megan, I feel like that's not necessarily an advantage since everything in my life is falling apart.

I'm doing poorly in all my classes, i'm so stressed that i can't sleep at night, my personal relationships are falling apart and I just have no motivation to do anything.

This all came to a point today when I came home. I was my playing my piano so hard that I cut one of my fingers on the keys, something that has never happened before. I have missed my piano greatly and I now realize that it was an emotional release for me when i played it almost every single day in high school. I dont have one at school either which makes it equally as difficult.

So being ahead doesnt have it advantages aside from the fact there is a light at the end of the tunnel. but right now, it's just a pinprick.